“Each person’s journey with their faith has defining moments. These moments can be filled with joy, and sometimes they are filled with sorrow. Once in awhile, they are both.
After years of struggling with infertility, my husband and I were overjoyed to find out we were expecting our first baby. We received crushing news just after completing the 1st trimester when the doctor explained to us that our baby had a fatal birth defect. She was not expected to live past birth, if she did survive 9 months of gestation at all. Grief flooded over me and anger, resentment and fear quickly settled in. My bishop could see I was struggling and gave me some inspired advice. He said I could let this trial push me away from Jesus Christ or I could pull myself closer to Him.
I chose to pull myself closer to Him than I had ever needed to in the past. I spent hours on my knees in prayer, begging for an end of the grief that kept crashing like waves over me. I poured over the scriptures to seek for understanding and comfort. I called on God for help constantly, I was lost and completely at His mercy. In the weeks and months that followed my anger and bitterness slowly turned into peace. I felt an unexpected strength and confidence fill me. I felt joy at the beautiful life growing inside of me. That very short time with my daughter became sacred as our spirits bonded with each other.
I never received an answer as to why this had happened but it was during that time I began to fully understand how to access the Grace of Jesus Christ and how abundant and peaceful it felt. Experiencing that magnitude of Grace changed me, it strengthened me in a way I could have never done on own.
I am thankful for the messy and beautiful moments that bring me closer to Jesus Christ. I know He is my Savior and He loves me perfectly. His Grace is enough.”
I Am Converted 